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I'm not racist, I'm walkist. I have a very particular pace I like to keep up with and when I'm behind you trying to be somewhere and you're just strolling along with your mouth agape and your iPhone in your hand, you really throw me off. I know the great big world out here can be scary when you don't know your way around, especially with all these people and bicycles everywhere. But come on. You're from TOKYO for Chrissake. Buck up, kid. Here, we walk fast, and we have multiple siblings. Shit you gotta get used to.
I don't give a damn. That you got. Into StuVi II. If you have 14 grand to spend on housing, that's your prerogative. But I don't want to hear you and your future StuvGirlies talk about it behind me while we're in line for coffee. And that you're wearing Ugg boots only makes what you're saying less relevant to my interests. So go on and move in to StuVi II and get your coffee at the Buick St. Market every morning and leave me the H alone.
Everyone remembers the time in their life when velvet was appropriate. I.E. AGES 7 AND UNDER. Offenders of this horrible fabric must have self esteem as awkward and uncomfortable as the feeling of the fabric on their skin. Anything resembling this cloak is better left underground.
